My Child is Dead

dak100x137My son was theocratic – bright and promising and a true servant of Jehovah. He dreamed of going to Bethel to serve Jehovah more fully. He prepared for meetings on his own, pioneered during summer breaks, handled the microphones at the Kingdom Hall, and timed the student talks for the Ministry School Overseer. He even gave talks at assemblies. We were so proud!

He was 15 years old and in the 9th grade when he and another young Witness were in a terrible auto accident. The other boy was driving my son home from the Sunday meeting when he raced the car, lost control and flipped. I was a faithful Witness for 29 years, and my husband and I trained our son to refuse blood transfusions. He told the ambulance drivers, “No blood!” and he said it again at the first hospital before he became unconscious. When he was air lifted to the trauma center, he was immediately transfused because he was unconscious and a minor.

By then, however, a lot of time had passed and there had been severe internal bleeding that had damaged his heart and other organs. When we arrived at the trauma center, the doctor told us that he had little chance of survival without blood transfusions, and that they had given him several units when he arrived. This angered my husband a great deal but I said nothing. Secretly, I had hoped the doctors would give him blood despite our wishes if a transfusion could save his life. The doctor said they restarted his heart twice and that gave us a glimmer of hope but twenty minutes later, with tears in his eyes, the doctor said they couldn’t restart his heart a third time – he had died.

My husband and my two other sons and I cried and cried and cried. I have never known such anguish and physical pain! I wanted to die. The pain was unbearable. I kept thinking, “Would he have lived if he got blood at the first hospital?” A spiral of profound change began in my life.

When you see your child lying wrapped in a white sheet, their pale lifeless face – there is no comfort. I will be forever carrying that picture of my son in my mind – wearing the face of death. No words can touch that place where your heart is dying. The hope of the resurrection means nothing when you can’t see or touch the living-breathing child that filled your life with joy. Never seeing them smile at you, laugh with you, or give you a hug ever again in the days to come. Never hearing them say, “I love you” again. I’ve suffered pain, but nothing compared to the pain of losing my beloved son. Your whole body becomes sickened with the most horrible physical pain one can feel. I’ve suffered pain, but nothing compared to the pain of losing a child.

I pray that any Jehovah’s Witness who has children and reads this will never have to face such a loss such as mine. A loss that can be prevented if they have a true understanding of what the Watchtower Society is asking them to sacrifice. After my son had died, I realized my nagging doubts about the Watchtower’s blood policies needed to be fully investigated. Hadn’t I just lost a child for these purportedly God-given laws I had lived by for 29 years?

I soon learned that over the years the Witnesses have changed many teachings about blood and that the Governing Body was about to change more of its blood doctrines. Why are some parts of blood permitted when others are not? Where did they find this in the Bible? In addition, if the Bible says nothing about transfusions, how can the Governing Body say with certainty that blood transfusions are wrong in Jehovah’s eyes? How could I forgive those men for my son’s death? In my opinion, the men of the Governing Body have the blood of many innocents on their hands. They who taught us falsely in God’s name are accountable to him.

My heart is completely broken – my child is dead. I beg of you who read my story, don’t let this happen to you. Educate yourself now before you are faced with a similar tragedy. If any child can be saved by their parents thinking now rather than after they lose their child, perhaps my son’s death will not have been for nothing.

Mary


Comments

My Child is Dead — 14 Comments

  1. I am so sorry for your horrendous loss, Mary. We can only hope with more and more exposure of this despicable cult, that we can save others from what your family has had to endure. With love, Isabella

    • My real name is Ruth McGill, I had to use a cover name for a number of years so the JW wouldn’t come after my other two sons. Losing Dak was like a bomb exploding in my chest the pain was the worst pain I’ve ever known. I pray my story will bring comfort and hope to others who stand up and fight against the ignorance of the WTBTS and say enough of us dying.

      Sincerely,

      Dak Elliot McGill Mom

  2. Mary, I’m so sorry for this. I just would like to say, you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself. If I understood well, the transfusion might not be a total guarantee, sometimes, unfortunately whatever we do, worst may still happen. I can only imagine to what extent one can feel at a loss in such an emergency situation.

    I have a deep respect for you, as you react to this by warning others and raising awareness, I think this is the best way to deal with the pain. I’m sure your efforts will make a difference for many.

    Despite the fact that this led to a tragedy, I must underline your son’s strong character and courage. If many others in the organization faught the same way when it was time to challenge the biblical grounds of this rule with the same strength of character, courage and conviction as your son had, many people would be alive today.

    This is why, people like you and others raising awareness are needed, for the sake of many more tragedies, that may be avoided.

  3. I am not a JW but I had a friend who is. I have done a lot of studying on this organization. I am so sorry to hear of your loss and one that may have be preventable. As a mom/aunt/grandmother, I never have to feel the kind of pain you describe. So, my heart goes out to you. Please leave your heart open for God to heal (not a made up God but the real Saviour).

    I would encourage you to study and ask for God to enlighten you so you may be led in truth. I am fully convinced JW is not the truth. God Bless you and may HE comfort you through this time of pain. He can!

    • Thank you for your kind comments. I have done a lot of biblical reading with new eyes since Dak died. Finding comfort has not been easy but I know that Jehovah’s Witnesses do not have the truth as they preach. I’m glad now to know how they started and how the manipulated people like me to believe and trust them.

      Sincerely,

      Ruth McGill aka Mary

  4. In your grief, may The Holy Spirit comfort you, and may all of the truths of God be supplied to you by Him as well.

    Your years in the WTBTS were not spent in vain, nor is this painful loss any fault of yours….you were deceived by the great liar himself. It is very clear that God said “I want obedience, not sacrifice”, when certain men of His ate the blood of animals when they were in NEED of nourishment for their bodies. Your son was in need or replenishment, and the arbitrary lies of men, who have interpreted the scriptures to suit their own brand of doctrine.

    The Great Healer and Shepherd Jesus, will see to it that your son lives again, for He is perfect in His justice, as ALL judgment has been given to Him. You, and your wife are held blameless for this damage caused to you and yours, and your strength now lies in the grace and love of our Father, Christ.

    Research to find the real answers now, and allow your hearts and minds to be strengthened, while you make the transition from dead in Christ, to alive in His Spirit.

    Please call me if you desire, I was a member for 40 years, and left after being cheated, lied to, falsely accused, and abandoned by my wife and her family. I am free in Christ now. Galations 5:1

    You are in our prayers.

    • Thank You Joseph, I left the witnesses 4 months after Dak died. I was a JW for 29 years I know now how many lies I bought into. The past 13 years have helped heal me, I know my son and I will be joined again one day. I am glad to say my two surviving sons also chose to leave the lies of the JW’s.

      Sincerely,

      Ruth aka Mary

  5. I am so deeply sorry for your lost. I work in Nicu and Picu. I take care of patient like your son everyday. Do not blame yourself about the blood. His injuries sound terrible. The blood given sooner_, Would not of made a difference. He is no longer in pain. I know that is of little comfort. Your life will never be the same. Write about all the wonder things he did. Have faith that someday you will meet again. I just do not know where.

    • Liz,
      Thank you for your response. I’ve often wondered if Dak had gotten blood immediately would he have survived? You help me to see that he probably wouldn’t have. I know he at peace now and no pain from his injury. Life is very altered, but Dak is always a bright memory in my heart. I often have funny memories of him pop in my mind that make me laugh and that is just as he would have wanted it.

      Sincerely,

      Ruth aka Mary

  6. Your story strikes a most painful chord; and the comment from the person who works in NICU/PICU compelled me to comment…
    I made the hardest decision of my life (to that date) when my son was born. True to all those service meeting parts, a middle of the night (influential) visit by the doctors shoved me into a corner that forced me to make the best decision of my life (to date.)
    My son, just a few hours old, was given a prognosis that meant his life would end in a few hours more.
    His life blood was my blood just a few hours earlier, but a ridiculous rule said I couldn’t give it to him if he was on the ouside of my body?
    An “off the record” transfer was performed in the wee hours of the morning, and today, my son is a very healthy 20-something.
    I sincerely hope that any waking JW can hear these stories…. and avoid a horrible and tragic loss as you suffered.
    My heart absolutely breaks and cries blood tears for you.

    • Kaycee thank you for sharing your story and knowing your choice to leave allowed your son to live is a testament to life. Bless you and your son.

      Mary aka Ruth McGill

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